寂しい...

Saturday, May 14, 2011

To: I think you know who you are (:

I didn't want to bring this matter up in front of people because it'll just be plain inconsiderate to discuss about the problems in front of them when they're not even involved in it. And also firstly, it'll take too much time to talk face to face, secondly, i'm just lazy and thirdly, i think that this would get through to you better instead of using direct methods.

Number one, I need my personal space desu. It's a fact that friends shouldn't have a wall in between them. But different people have different mindsets and perspectives. You have yours and I have mine. We both think differently. In my case, I.need.my.personal.space, like a thin wall. I feel very uncomfortable when someone other than my family is too close to me. It feels as if it was smothering me. I know that we've been close friends for more than three years. Still, i need my own space. I believe you have noticed that i've not been talking to you much, am i right? I just need time to rebuild that wall. And I can't always talk to you when there are so many people in the group. If I just talk to you, it'll be unfair for people like Chin Fung and Jia Jing who truly want to communicate with us.

Number two, I didn't say that you're Sarrah. I said that you're behaving like her. It's totally two very different things. She's just...EW, and you're not EW. Like I mentioned, I need my own personal space. Which also means that I don't really like too much skinship. Just a hug or a slight pat on the shoulder would do. But anything more, Ember does not approve. To be direct and honest, it gives me a feeling of being very...lesbian-ish. That overwhelming Sarrah feeling. It's seriously very unpleasant. You may not mind it, but, bringing me back to my point, i need my space. I mind. Kimochi warui desu...

Number three, please don't get so paranoid. It bothers me. A lot. It's the truth that my tutor came before i had time to reply to your message. But there's no reason to get so paranoid just because i didn't reply for a few hours. Also, by saying that you dreamt of losing me, it's very uncomfortable and too extreme for me. To be honest, i'm upset that you doubt our friendship. It's just that I feel that you're getting a little to "sticky" and i need to gain back my personal space again.

Lastly, I just want to say that I need more time to rebuild my wall, so that I won't have that intrusion-of-privacy feeling that makes me very uncomfortable. And I think that we just need a little time off of each other. I still want to be able to talk to you normally soon.

Hope that this message gets to you. Just write your thoughts in the tagboard.

-Ember

Harumi Onigiri blogged at 1:54 AM